What does it all mean?

Distance:
noun
1. an amount of space between two things or people.

There is too much distance between me and a lot of things right now. At this point in time my husband comes to mind. He is currently boarding a plane that will take him home after visiting me for 2 weeks here on the ship.


My niece also comes to mind. My sister-in-law frequents my inbox with pictures of my little angel every few days, and recent shots have shocked me with the realization of how quickly she is growing up. I’ve only been gone a few weeks, and I can already see her turning from a toddler into child mode. It’s mainly frightening because in a few years she will not only be taller than me, but much smarter.

Growing:
verb

1. (of a living thing) undergo natural development by increasing in size and changing physically; progress to maturity

My partner in crime, otherwise known as my best friend Mark comes to mind as well. Mark & I have been friends since time allowed it, and the thing that I appreciate most about his friendship is that he doesn’t hold my absence against me. My job doesn’t allow me to communicate as often as I would want to, but sometimes after months without a phone call or email, we will pick up right where we left off. A true friend is there no matter what, and he is always there, whether I need him or not. (Just to be clear, I need him every time.)

Best:
adjective

1. of the most excellent, effective, or desirable type or quality

Finally I think of my Grandfather, whom I haven’t had the chance to speak with since I left in June. About a year ago he moved into a long term care facility, and my previous job allowed me to walk down the street and spend my lunch hours with him. Catching up with him in person is a challenge as not only is his hearing less than 100%, he unfortunately lost most of his sight as well, so visual cues are of no help when trying to tell a story or get a point across. Phone calls aren’t very successful either, but as often as I can I contact him just to remind him that I am thinking of him, and that the Toronto Maple Leafs could quite possibly make it past the first round of playoffs this year.

Challenge:
noun

1. a task or situation that tests someone's abilities

When I began typing this, I came up with the idea to look into key words, or just words that stuck out for me in each paragraph. The particular words were chosen partly because it truly represents something about the person I am writing about, and partly because they are such common words that we throw around in every day language but may not truly appreciate their meaning. I have also realized that these words link together, and then arrive at a similar finale.

Distance, growing up and being the best are true challenges.

We are always distant from loved ones, we distance ourselves from issues or possibly the truth, and that is painful and challenging. We never stop growing up, maturing, developing no matter where we find ourselves in life. I will never be finished learning as a performer, which is something I love about my profession. I will be 98 and still learning about my craft, which is exciting, and a challenge. Within our growth we challenge ourselves to be the best. The best parent, the best student, the best runner, the best cook, just simply the best. It is exhausting trying it over and over and coming up short, because we have challenged ourselves to do something that is virtually impossible.

Every once and a while, we achieve it. Whatever it is, it’s ours for the moment, and we jump, possibly into the arms of the husband who was far away, we jump rope with the niece who when we saw her last couldn’t run without stumbling, we jump back to the conversation we were having three months ago without skipping a beat, or we jump at the chance to see someone, even if just for a few minutes.

Inky, Blinky & Then some...

I have taken to playing some old school arcade games to pass some time recently thanks to my Playstation 2, and a delightful game my brother bought me a few years ago for my birthday. Games from a simpler time when it was one joystick and an orange button, and with those two tools you and your triangle spaceship could own the galaxy, or a little mouse could trampoline his way to victory, or perhaps your 2 pixel racecar could cross the finish line before the clock ran out.

By playing these games, I have decided that I am a Ms. Pacman. Well technically now I’m a Mrs. Ferrett after getting married a few months ago, but that isn’t a video game that I know of. I could be a Pacman, but I have decided I do look cute in a festive pink bow. Some computer generated music introduces her mission, and off she goes, determined to swallow each little yellow dot, minding her own business. But look, there are her nemeses, those four ghouls trying to stop her from accomplishing her simple task. She fakes right or left, bobs and weaves and even sneaks through time warping secret tunnels to escape them. Occasionally, they get the best of her, and she spins in despair and then folds up, three sounds sending her to her afterlife. She has two more chances, but alas, unless she grabs a golden orb, making her unstoppable, the ghosts prevent her from achieving her mission; a high score. Three initials forever to penetrate the winner’s list.

Every day I go after my yellow dots. Be it learning a new song, getting my steps right or just trying to go about my day doing what I love and coming out happy on the other side of it all. Just going up to the lunch buffet is a Ms. Pacman game in itself. I reach for the salad tongs, and someone grabs them before me, crossing to the hot food station with them, cross contaminating my hopes and dreams of a healthy meal. I have a watered down coffee, reach for the cream- empty. I put ranch dressing on my plate only to find out when I take a forkful on my cauliflower that it’s actually blue cheese dressing. Foiled again by my Inky of the food label department.

On and off stage there are many ghosts trying to spoil my fun, but my golden orb that makes me impenetrable is my performing. When that spotlight hits me I am untouchable, and most of all, happy.

We all have our golden orbs of power, that moment in time where nothing can touch us and we believe that anything can happen. We must always remember that the ghosts are around to get the better of us, but with a little perseverance, and perhaps a cute bow in our hair, we can beat them, and win.